Dear Pastor: How do I balance life’s priorities?

If you were asked to list all the “hats you wear” from most important to least important, I am confident that most of us would have extremely similar lists.  Listing them in order of priority is not the problem.  Living them is!

If only there could be another day between Friday and Saturday.  If only I could squeeze two more hours into each day, then I could get everything done I need to do.  I wouldn’t say I’m a driven person in the least.  I would say I like to do things well and sometimes there is just not enough time to do everything I am responsible for as well as I would like!

Dave Ramsey teaches the importance of budgeting your money.  His idea is to spend your money on paper before you spend it for real.  It’s a great financial plan.  What is more important than money?  Time.  Your time.  Once upon a time, I worked at a church filled with really great people who loved God.  However, when it came time to volunteer, they were quick to whip out their checkbooks.  That’s great unless you need a Sunday School teacher for a four-year-old class.  We really do value time more than money.  So, if we budget money, why not budget time as well?

Here are priorities as I see them: 

1. Being a child of God
2. Being a spouse
3. Being a parent
4. Being a church member
5. Being a community member

Being a child of God is the foundation for all the rest of life.  It is from a right relationship with God that all other relationships can be right.  So, make sure that daily Bible study, prayer, scripture memorization and church attendance are top priority.  If you don’t make these things priority in your life, don’t expect your spouse or children to make them a priority in their lives.  Don’t expect God’s blessing on all the other priorities, if God is not your first priority.  Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” I am tempted to say that as you grow in God, you’ll spend less time working on that relationship, but that is just not the case.  As you grow, you are going to discover that time invested in God gives the greatest return, both temporally speaking and eternally speaking.  Get this priority right and the others will find their proper place.

Being a spouse is the most transparent relationship we have this side of heaven.  No one knows you like your spouse knows you.  So, don’t waste your time trying to convince them you are someone you are not.  Take care of the “child of God” part first then being an excellent spouse will come more naturally and with fewer obstacles.  Create good habits:  say, “I love you” often, kiss good-bye, (and hello), catch their eye and smile, hold hands, clean up after yourself, have a set date-night, be considerate, be patient, be kind, be helpful etc.  Being a great spouse doesn’t have to a lot of time as much as it takes a lot of attention.  Pay attention to what blesses your spouse and do those things.  Let the other, time consuming things go.  Pouting, being manipulative, arguing, controlling, selfish . . . all waste precious time.  Make a habit of avoiding these things.

Being a parent is the most difficult job you’ll ever have.  I love my kids and I could not be prouder of mine.  I have loved them and enjoyed them more every day from the day they were born.  If you have taken care of the child of God priority and the spouse priority, you have a teammate for parenting.  Lord knows you need a teammate for this job.  God was very wise in giving children a mother and a father.   God’s design has always been for parenting to be a team mission.  It is too big for one parent.  There is not enough time for one person to be all that a child needs.  There is some relief in that this time with children is cyclical.  At every age the amount of time a child needs changes.  The type of time a child needs changes.  Rely on God and your spouse to wisely spend time with your kids.  Six-year-olds need time wrestling around on the floor with dad.  Sixteen-year-olds need long drives in the car and one-on-one dinners.  The most important time you will spend with your children is the time they see you putting God first and loving your spouse.  Don’t waste your time making them think they are little gods, because they’ll believe you.  Then they have a serious problem that is going to require a lot more of your time.

Being a church member is icing on the cake!  It’s not an obligation, it’s a joy to be part of a community of people who share the same foundation for living, being a child of God.  I look forward to being in church on Sunday.  There are people I enjoy being with and I go planning on learning something that is going to improve my life today as well as get me one more step closer to eternity with God the Father. We sing, we celebrate, we learn and we serve.  We serve out of the overflow of grace and love that God has been putting into our hearts all week long.  The balance is built in.  You cannot give what you do not possess.  You do not have the capacity to serve in ministry if you haven’t taken care of the child of God part first, and the spouse situation, and the parent responsibility.  There is on order and it is somewhat self-balancing.

Being a community member is your opportunity to shine the light of Jesus!  There is an increasing value of serving in the community.  That is great!  But as the church we are not the hands and feet of an eternal God to only meet the physical needs of humanity.  The church has the exclusive ministry of eternal life by way of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  The most important humanitarian aide the church has to offer is the message of Jesus Christ.  I am in no way advocating that we stop reaching out to people in need.  I am advocating that we take care of our priorities first.  We take care of the “log in our own eye” before we attempt to help others in need.  We make sure that we are modeling a balanced, well prioritized life.  Then, the time we spend in the community is maximized for eternal purposes, instead of being wasted on things that will eventually pass away.

I always love to hear from you.  If you have any question you’d like to ask the Pastor, you are welcome to send them to me.

Bless You Big!!

Dear Pastor: How Do I Be a Christian Man?

From time to time men comment to me in some form, “I do not know how to be a Christian man.”  My first thought is, “Follow your dad’s example,” because that is what I have always done.  Human behavior is amazingly predictable.  You’ll do what you have seen modeled, especially what you saw modeled by your parents.  Therein lies the problem, many men presently endeavoring to be Christian men have not had a Christian father to model Christian manhood.

Allow me to throw a temper-tantrum for other men for just a moment.  It’s not fair!  It is abundantly clear that it is not fair that all of us were not raised by men who made Godly character a personal priority.  It’s not fair that we did not all see our dad read his Bible, pray regularly and handle discipline with grace.  It’s not fair that not all dads woke the house up singing, “This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!” and then begin herding the sluggish family off to church on Sunday mornings.  It’s not fair that some dads quit on some moms and didn’t put up a fight for their marriage and children.  It’s not fair that some dads had addiction problems or abuse problems.  It’s not fair we were not all raised by my dad!   Feel free to stomp your feet, shake your fists and growl.

Now get over it.  Here are the nuts and bolts of Christian manhood:

1. You are the man.

God made you in His image.  He designed you to be wonderfully powerful and graceful, intimidating and approachable, adventurous and committed.  Society may attempt to persuade men to give up our more dangerous qualities.  Instead of being powerful, simply be soft.  Sin would have us take one or two of our qualities to an extreme.  We could become so adventurous that we are no longer committed or so intimidating we are no longer approachable.  Men don’t surrender these qualities, balance them.  God is our example.  Stop making excuses and follow God’s example.  You are the man!

2. Your family will follow your lead.

God did something really amazing in the hearts and minds of women and children.  God miraculously turns the heart of a wife toward her husband.  Intelligent, beautiful brides will lose themselves in the arms of their husband, no matter what a bum he is.  Obviously, this is true to varying degrees.  But the point remains, women tend to lose themselves to their husbands.  Likewise, little boys and little girls will admire dads that have done nothing to be warrant such admiration.  God did that men.  God opens the door for you.  It is your opportunity, your obligation to lead your family to a God glorifying life.  You may have to limit your pursuit to be the best at your job. You may have to give up time with your hobbies. You may have to read a book, even better yet, you may have to read your Bible to learn how to behave like a Christian husband and Christian father. And I promise you will have to sacrifice your selfishness and your immaturity. However, what you receive in return is a family that loves God, becomes contributing members of society and pride in your chest that is larger than any job, hobby or other accomplishment can possibly give you this side of Heaven. I am confident that if you lead a Christian life your family will follow you. You must walk it first, then they will follow.

3. Four Fundamental Characteristics (I’m sure there are more)

Humility:  You don’t know everything. You can’t do everything. And you are not the best at . . . well, probably anything. So, stop acting like it. You embarrass yourself by strutting around. Arrogance is not attractive, confidence is. Confidence is knowing that my wife and children are going to think the world of me even when I have to ask for help. I am the “get’er done guy.” Sometimes I have to ask for help to “get’er done.” I’m not going to fail just because I’m too proud to show my limitations. I would rather teach my family the value of having good friends who are happy to help when I need help. Be humble, it positions you for success!

Discipline:  Discipline yourself. For some reason we get it in our minds that once we leave home or Jr. High, we no longer need discipline.  Men, discipline your spiritual, physical, financial and emotional habits.  Your family will see how you behave and you will not need to verbally correct them as much.  (AS MUCH)  If you don’t discipline yourself, you will breed rebellion when you attempt to discipline your family. You first leader!

Love:  I don’t think men are failing to love. I am around men who sincerely and fiercely love their families.  We just get in our own way sometimes.  We love so strongly that we fail to love gently. For most of us our default emotion is anger. This is why we are so dependent upon God to work in our hearts and habits. We love in our hearts, but showing it is awkward. Take extra time to be with your family. My family spends a lot of quality time piled on our bed having late night discussions with no boundaries whatsoever! Sometimes when I’ve messed up as dad, I go lay next to one of my kids on their bed and I apologize. We visit in the dark, say, “I’m sorry,” and I try our best to stay long enough to laugh. Sometimes I wrap my daughter up in a big hug and kiss her. I have long lunches with my son. I take extra time telling my wife, “good-bye” for the day.  Love is very seldom a grand overture. Love is in the small, consistent gestures. Love often. Love gently.

Grace:  Not like a ballerina! Like God. I have no idea why men fail to consider that everyone is not like us! It is as though the moment our baby is born we have grand expectations of them being just like us . . . RIGHT NOW! I observed a parent correcting their child, “You must be responsible!” they advised sternly to their two-year-old. Crazy child hadn’t balanced their checkbook I guess. Dad was wound up! Men, children need time and space to grow up. They need grace to fail and your patience to teach them to not make the same mistake again. Failure is not the end of the world, it is very much part of growing. Grace gives us all permission to fail successfully! Fear pins us to the ground when we have failed. The result is no lesson is learned and no growth is achieved. To this day my siblings joke about one of my dad’s common sayings was, “Well, that’s alright.” It didn’t matter how big the mess was, dad had his way of reassuring us that our failure was no big deal and that it was all going to be all right. And it was.

Maybe we don’t all have a model dad. But if you can be humble, discipline yourself and gently show your family that you desperately love them, . . well, that’s alright.

If you have questions you would like to ask the Pastor, leave them in the comments or you are welcome to email me at brent@desertheightschurch.com.

Not Just Another Prayer Meeting

Next week Desert Heights Church will gather for an evening of prayer and worship.  I have attended my fair share of prayer meetings.  People trickle in well past starting time.  The pastor may pray out loud, maybe a few others, but for the most part everyone else finds a pew, kneels and prays quietly.  It’s kind of hard to tell how much serious prayer is happening.  At the appointed time to gather for that final prayer, there are a few faithful prayer warriors whose eyes look as if they’ve just woke up.  What do you expect?  Jesus couldn’t keep his disciples awake for prayer either.

I joke about prayer meetings, but the fact of the matter is prayer is serious and this is not just another prayer meeting.  Hebrews 4:16 makes it clear that we have direct access to our Heavenly Father for our needs, “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”   There is no reason for us to hesitate to bring our needs to God in prayer, He promises help for us.  And there is no shortage of needs.  Our nation, our own community, our church and our families all have needs that can only be met by a gracious God.  So, we come boldly to God’s throne trusting that He alone is able to intervene.  Like David, we pray, “O Lord, hear me as I pray.” Ps. 5:1. We fully expect God the Father to hear us as we unite our voices for all these needs.  Then David says, “Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for I pray to no one but you.” Ps. 5:2. Our hope is not in our own abilities, the abilities of our government or our economy.  We do not pray to our church leaders.  We pray to our King and our God!  The only one with power and authority to transform the chaos of this world for His Glory!

Here is the bigger and much more serious picture.  The chaos we see is the result of the spiritual battle we do not see.  The struggle for our nation and our families is a spiritual war.  As Christians we must recognize that we are not in a political or economic battle.  We will not win with better church signs and self-help Sunday school classes.  The fact is, it is a spiritual war that requires spiritual warfare.  Ephesians 6:12, “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”  I will pray for better jobs for people in Farmington.  I will pray against the opioid epidemic that is crippling America.  I will pray for the protection of our children as they go to school.  But those are merely symptoms, they are not the source of the problem.  The source of the problem is spiritual rebellion against God.  And God has equipped the church to be the beacon of hope.  As the church is united in Jesus, demonstrating our dependence upon God through prayer, that spiritual strongholds are destroyed.  It is time that we apply our Sunday school lesson, join together, bow our heads and pray boldly to our King and our God for His intervention, trusting that He will hear our prayer and heal our land.

So, yes, this is a special, spiritual time to unite our voices and hearts together and agree in prayer.  It is not only a time of asking God to meet our needs and the needs of our loved ones.  It is also a time of worship.  A time to read scriptures that point to the glory and all sufficiency of God and to sing about the miraculous things God has already done in us and for us!

I’m challenging you Desert Heights:  It’s time we make time for prayer!  We need to pray.  We need to join together as the Body of Christ and petition Him for His grace in our nation, community, church, families and individuals.  God has called us to a life that demands more than we are capable of giving.  We need God’s involvement in our lives.  Let’s unite our hearts and ask for God’s intervention, for God’s grace and for God’s power to live as He has called us to.

See you at prayer meeting!

Friday, March 2^{nd —} 6:30 p.m. — Desert Heights Church

 

What is More Important Than Your Religious Beliefs?

The staff and I read books together from time to time.  Last summer we read Albert Mohler’s book The Conviction to Lead.  One of the later chapters in the book is “The Leader’s Legacy.”  Yes, you guessed it.  It is a little morbid, thinking through who will lead after you and what convictions they will continue to embody.  It’s not exactly a knee slapping, hand clapping, yee-ha evoking chapter.  It’s more like facing the dark reality that leaders often fail to instill their convictions in the next generation of leaders.  Similar to parenting, we make sure everyone is properly dressed, educated, married and employed, but we don’t stop long enough to define the convictions, the nuances of character, that are the building blocks to being proper.  In the case of the church we face the hazard of teaching Biblical theology to people without developing the building blocks of Biblical character in them.

So, here are my pastoral convictions.  These are not theology and doctrine.  However, they are the building blocks of Christian character that I hope to instill in those who follow in my footsteps and more importantly, those who will one day make the footsteps.

 

1. The authority of Scripture:

This is foundational.  There is no such thing as Christianity without the conviction that the sixty-six books, Genesis through Revelation, are our authoritative guide to knowing and serving the Christian God.  When we fail to submit to the authority of Scripture we end up comparing our opinion to God’s opinion.  Scripture is not God’s opinion that is in some way negotiable or debatable.  God has spoken.  His Word is true.  We can either submit to it or be judged by it.  We cannot subvert the authority of Scripture and assume to arrive at Biblical Christianity.   To be a Christian is to be a submissive follower of the instructions God has given us in the Bible.

 

2. Jesus is the only way to salvation:

Churches who have abandoned their Biblical roots are finding nonbiblical ways to find god.  They will call it the Christian God, but that makes no sense.  If the recipe for good hot chocolate calls for two tablespoons of cocoa and a cup of hot water, but you use two tablespoons of coffee instead, you made coffee not hot chocolate!  John 14:6 is clear,  ”Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”    It is not up for debate.  There is no other way to right standing before God the Father other than faith in Christ Jesus.

 

3. Christians should be characterized by love one for another rather than fighting.

I hear stereotypes of church people that are not at all flattering, but there is a degree of truth to them.  As a pastor, when a non-church goer describes their perception of church members as fighting with each other over unimportant things, it makes my heart sad.  If we can agree on the authority of Scripture and salvation through Jesus we are going to be able to get along just fine . . . unless, you just want to argue.  Sure, there are things we differ on that we can have lively discussions about.  However, at the point that one person is defending their position instead of both persons defending the Biblical position, it is a worthless argument and shouldn’t be happening between two siblings in Christ.  Before Paul was converted, he killed people who disagreed with him.  After his conversation he preached that we are unified in Christ Jesus, that there is one faith, one Body and one God.  The church should look less like Saul and more like Paul.

We must never lob theological grenades at each other.  We must stop defending denominational distinctives and start unifying around faith in Jesus.  The true church of God will humbly lay aside its differences for the purpose of loving one another and even loving those who are lost.  Loving one another and loving the those who are lost is the first evangelistic thing we do.  Which leads me to my next point.

 

4. Living the Christian life full of joy is the second most evangelistic thing we do.

The world is watching long before they listen.  It’s human nature.  We are more perceptive of what we see in others than what we hear.  I’m currently preaching through the book of Philippians.  Several times Philippians refers to being filled with joy, rejoice and again I say rejoice!  It is as if Paul expects the Christian church to be deeply happy and visibly excited about the fact that they have the privilege of fellowshipping with Christ, sharing in His suffering, and will participate in His resurrection.  That’s a lot to be rejoicing about!  So, let’s try not to look like we’ve been baptized in pickle juice.  Let’s refrain from mourning Christianity and begin to celebrate Christianity.  Jesus did die, but He rose again and is alive in the believer.  I give you permission to show joy about Jesus being alive in you!

 

5. Share your personal faith story happens third.

I am making an issue of the progression here.  We went through an era of evangelism that promoted simply telling your faith story and the gospel message and then expect that person to pray the sinner’s prayer and be saved.  The average unchurched person is smarter than they used to be.  They want to see the product before they purchase.  They need to see evidence of love and joy in your life.  Then they will listen to and believe your faith story.  Your faith story without love and joy in your life makes your gospel presentation difficult to believe.  Honor the process!  Love and joy first, then your story and the gospel.

 

6. Point others toward Biblical morality in a genuine and caring way.

Listen carefully:  Biblical morality is a work of the Holy Spirit in a person.  You are not the Holy Spirit.  I have pastored long enough to know that in any church there are regular attenders who range from unsaved to very mature in Christ.  God is at work in each them in His way and at His speed.  I do what people to live in a Biblically moral way, but I can’t force that change.  I can model that change.  Pestering someone about their moral inadequacy very seldom motivates them to change.  Pointing them toward the counsel of Scripture, praying with them and modeling the instruction of Scripture gives them something to strive toward.  The Holy Spirit is the one transforming the person, we are just long for moral support!

 

7. Genuine love is more powerful than being right.

There is something magical about genuine love.  Genuine love covers a multitude of sins and overcomes all fears.  When there is genuine love we’ll work together to uncover and overcome sin, whether it is your sin or my sin.  When there is genuine love there is no cause for me to fear your motives or for you to fear my motives.  The need to be right works just the opposite.  Being right polarizes people.  Please understand and recognize the difference between being right and identifying truth.   Being right wants you to become like me.  It is selfish and arrogant.  Identifying truth in God’s Word is a journey we can share together, we can walk together, we can talk together, we can share this adventure of faith together.  I believe with all my heart that as we put Christ first and genuinely love others we’ll all arrive at the “right” that God wants us to be.  There is little or no need for convincing.

 

After all the theology and doctrine, preaching and teaching, the church must portray the character of Christ Jesus.  We come to know Jesus with childlike faith and the Holy Spirit transforms us.  We don’t have to explain the intricacies of how it works, we simply believe that Jesus finishes the work He begins.

 

 

15 Years and Counting God’s Blessings!

On March 23, 2003 Desert Heights Church held its first Sunday service at the Courtyard by Marriot.  We rented two rooms, one for children and one for adults.  There was a modest thirty-one people there!  I began a six-week sermon series titled “Why Jesus?” that would lead up to Easter Sunday.

Here we are fifteen years later at the beginning of another year wondering what this year holds for Desert Heights Church.  I have kind of joked that my crystal ball doesn’t work very well.  I don’t know the future of DHC, but I do know it’s history.  I know that God has been faithful year after year.

When Dianne and I first began to talk about the idea of starting a church we had friends and acquaintances from our past that told us they would come help us.  Most of them did not.  But God sent the people we needed to get started.  All eight of us sat in our living room in our humble mobile home dreaming together about what the church would look like and planning our first services.  God sent us faithful people, selfless people who knew how to bless others.  Fifteen years later those dreams have been exceeded by reality!  God has brought many really great people to Desert Heights Church.  At every point in the development of the church there have been people with very specific gifts to help us grow.  It is as if God knows exactly what He is planning for Desert Heights!  Dianne and I have had the privilege of serving alongside of many people over the years, great people who have been willing to give up a portion of their own lives to help out with ministry at the church.

I grew up with offerings and offertories.  (That’s when someone sings a special song or plays an instrument while the offering plates are being passed around.)  When we started the church we wanted to remove all the obstacles we possibly could so that unchurched people would feel at home at church.  There is nothing sacred about passing an offering plate and it is sometimes off putting to unchurched people, so we set out an offering box at each service.   We didn’t pass offering plates.  After service Dianne and I would take the offering box home and dump it out on our dinner room table to see if we were going to be able to cover the rooms we had rented for service, sometimes there was enough and other times there was not.  I would fret and Dianne would comfort.  I didn’t start the church with a whole lot of confidence anyway.  Before we actually started the church people would ask me in a doubtful tone of voice, “How do you start a church?”.  I’m sure I had some glib answer, but the fact of the matter was I had no idea how to start a church.  So, when there was not enough money to cover the church’s one bill . . . it exposed the reality of the size of my faith.  Church planters are supposed to be confident men of faith and power.  My own insecurities questioned, “Maybe God didn’t want us to start a church.”  But more than once, on the way to pay the motel on Monday morning, we’d stop by the post office to check the mail and there would be a letter and money from someone who God had directed to send us an offering.  We paid our one bill every single Monday.  God has been faithful!

After our Easter service, we made the big decision that we had enough people we’d continue the church.  I had been leading worship with my dad’s antique Gibson guitar.  Looking back people came in spite of worship at our church not because of the worship.  My talent and repertoire were very limited.  “Lord I Lift Your Name on High” and “Every Move I Make” made it to the overhead projector every Sunday!  It was special.  There were three men in the church that were the beginnings of our Leadership team.  I met with them on Saturday morning and discussed purchasing a keyboard amplifier, microphone and mic stand.  This was our first big expenditure.  We discussed it.  Prayed together about it.  And made the purchase (on my credit card).  Sunday morning Dianne and I take the offering box home, dump it out on the dining room table and our hearts sank.  I remember it.  There was one check for $45, the lowest offering in the short history of DHC.  “What was I thinking!!!”  That afternoon, with our heads a little low, Dianne and I were doing our shopping for our family at Wal Mart.  We ran into a person who was not a church-goer.  This person pulled a check out of their pocket that had already been written, as if there was a plan for us to meet them at Wal Mart, and handed it to us.  It was more than enough to cover our two rooms at the motel and the equipment we had ordered.  How do you start a church?  By faith in a faithful God!  That was the last Sunday I counted the offering.  Obviously, my anxieties and insecurities were not contributing to the financial well-being of Desert Heights Church.

After six months of being in the motel, we needed to relocate.  A friend of mine told me about some offices with a warehouse on Schofield Ln.  My dad and I went and looked at it with the realtor.  It was ugly.  I returned home to tell Dianne that this place would not work.  But Dianne has a unique ability to see potential.  (Maybe that is why she married me.)  She quizzed me about the layout of the building.  The short version is the floor plan was perfect for an auditorium and classrooms.  We rented it, painted everything, borrowed chairs and held our first service in “our” building.

We could not have been happier!  Monday morning the city red tagged the building because we didn’t have a Certificate of Occupancy.  Now I feel like I am proving that I don’t know how to start a church!  There are several stories about that church remodel that are nothing short of miraculous, but I have one favorite story to tell.  Part of our meeting the city building codes required us to have a handicap accessible bathroom.  The plumber comes by, looks at our situation and tells me we will have to jackhammer concrete from the middle of the building out to the middle of the street because there is no way there is a four inch drain under the concrete.  I told him we would start jackhammering where the new toilet would be and if there was no four inch drain line we’d continue to tear up the rest of the concrete and pavement at great expense!  The plan is to pray and jackhammer I told him.  He assured me that even with prayer, there would not be a four inch drain line.  Several men were working at the church that evening.  Some were pouring concrete in front and one of the men was running the jackhammer.  This particular man was new to church, new to Christianity and had not yet made any profession of faith in Christ.  In the few months I’d known him he had less expression than the typical male, but that night he came bounding through the building wide eyed with surprise and excitement! He couldn’t have smiled bigger if he had won the Powerball lottery.  “Brent, I found the four inch line!”  Of course, all of us went to inspect this discovery.  Sure enough, under a paper thin layer of concrete was a clean out that went all the way down to a four inch drain line.

We were in that building for almost eleven years.  The church grew, both in number and in faith.  When we relocated to Main St. we did the remodeling and got a Certificate of Occupancy before we moved in.

The stories go on and on about God’s faithfulness to Desert Heights Church.  But I should get to the point instead of reminiscing.  God has been faithful and I expect Him to continue to be faithful.  I do not know if there are financial or plumbing miracles ahead in 2018.  I know what I’d like to see at Desert Heights Church.  I would like to see the evidence of God’s work in people’s lives.  I’d like to see God’s mercy and grace transform the broken into the healed, the hurting into the rejoicing.

God has promised to do more than we could ask or imagine in His church.  As we walk with God there is no way we can anticipate what God is going to do in us and through us this year!

I’m looking forward expecting more from God than ever before!

God bless every one of you big! – Pastor Brent

Best Christmas Ever!

I love Christmas, always have.  I have many great memories of Christmas.  One year my parents got my brother and I bicycles for Christmas and hid them in our camp trailer.  Weeks before Christmas we were playing in the yard and for no reason at all I jumped up on the step of the camper and looked in the window.  There they were, one was black and white with hand brakes and the other was blue and silver.  The coolest bicycles ever!  We ran into the house to announce what we had found.  My mom was less than impressed that we had discovered our Christmas gifts.  Several days later, because the weather was exceptionally warm, we got to “open” our Christmas presents early.  It was magnificent!

On another occasion, when money was extra tight, some family friends anonymously adopted our family for Christmas.  I still have the electric train from that Christmas tucked away in a special box in my attic.  I’m not a materialistic person, but that little train is one of my most valued earthly possessions, not because of its monetary value, but because it represents a moment in time when God was bigger than circumstances.

Christmas dinner was served on a brand-new dining table that year!  Again, it had nothing to do with the dollar value.  It had everything to do with the people value.  It was around that table at Christmas that I remember my uncles getting into the hot rolls before dinner, Uncle Ned picking the cream cheese out of my mom’s Coke-salad and leaving it on the edge of his plate, Uncle Dan unbuckling his belt so he could keep on eating and my Aunt Hilda finding a toothpick in the German Chocolate cake!  She thought that my mom had accidently dropped it in while she was cooking.  But the fact is, she used toothpicks to keep the layers from sliding because there was so much frosting between them.  Countless hours were spent telling stories, laughing and reminiscing.

I couldn’t tell you the most expensive gift I ever got for Christmas.  I don’t know that I even have a favorite Christmas gift.  I do know that every Christmas is meaningful because of the people we share it with.  Opening presents never gets old.  Eating everyone’s signature dish is just part of the tradition.  And reading the Christmas story together with the family continues to cultivate nostalgia. Faces change around the Christmas table.  Some are new, some have aged, and some are missing, but the story of God sending His Son to be born in a manger never changes.  Christ is the centerpiece of Christmas.  It is the celebration of God humbly joining humanity that remains the same.  It is Jesus in the manger that drew the shepherds and the angels to gather around, sing and share gifts.

Make this Christmas your best Christmas ever!

It’s an Attitude!

I love the story of King David bringing the Ark of the Covenant into Jerusalem.  David is passionate about the Ark coming home.  David, the elders, Israel’s generals and the Levites went with great ceremony to retrieve the Ark and parade it back to Jerusalem where David had prepared a special tent.  David donned his finest linen robe!  Even all the Levites who carried the Ark and all the singers dressed their best!  1 Chronicles 15:28 tells us that “all of Israel brought up the Ark of the Lord’s Covenant with shouts of joy, the rams’ horns and trumpets, the crashing of cymbals, and loud playing of harps and lyres.”  It’s a great picture of a great celebration!  David is enjoying the celebration so much that his wife gets embarrassed!

When they arrived in Jerusalem sacrifices and peace offerings were made.  King David blessed the people in the name of the Lord.  He gave gifts to every man and woman.  And then David, the Levites and Israel worshiped before the Ark of the LORD.  They asked for the Lord’s blessings, they gave thanks and praise to the LORD, the God of Israel.  Cymbals and harps resounded.

David even wrote a special song for the Levites to sing for this special day.  Here is what is so intriguing to me.  David wrote this song out of an intimate knowledge and relationship with the Lord.  David was extraordinarily passionate about the Ark, the symbol of the presence of the Lord, being in Jerusalem.   This song would have been powerful then and there.  However, I do not believe that David had any idea of how exponentially more meaningful the words to this song would become to those of us who have the privilege of living on this side of the fulfillment of the Davidic Covenant.

1 Chronicles 16:8–36 (NLT)

⁸ Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness.

Let the whole world know what he has done.

⁹ Sing to him; yes, sing his praises.

Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds.

¹⁰ Exult in his holy name;

rejoice, you who worship the Lord.

¹¹ Search for the Lord and for his strength;

continually seek him.

¹² Remember the wonders he has performed,

his miracles, and the rulings he has given,

¹³ you children of his servant Israel,

you descendants of Jacob, his chosen ones.

¹⁴ He is the Lord our God.

His justice is seen throughout the land.

¹⁵ Remember his covenant forever—

the commitment he made to a thousand generations.

¹⁶ This is the covenant he made with Abraham

and the oath he swore to Isaac.

¹⁷ He confirmed it to Jacob as a decree,

and to the people of Israel as a never-ending covenant:

¹⁸ “I will give you the land of Canaan

as your special possession.”

¹⁹ He said this when you were few in number,

a tiny group of strangers in Canaan.

²⁰ They wandered from nation to nation,

from one kingdom to another.

²¹ Yet he did not let anyone oppress them.

He warned kings on their behalf:

²² “Do not touch my chosen people,

and do not hurt my prophets.”

²³ Let the whole earth sing to the Lord!

Each day proclaim the good news that he saves.

²⁴ Publish his glorious deeds among the nations.

Tell everyone about the amazing things he does.

²⁵ Great is the Lord! He is most worthy of praise!

He is to be feared above all gods.

²⁶ The gods of other nations are mere idols,

but the Lord made the heavens!

²⁷ Honor and majesty surround him;

strength and joy fill his dwelling.

²⁸ O nations of the world, recognize the Lord,

recognize that the Lord is glorious and strong.

²⁹ Give to the Lord the glory he deserves!

Bring your offering and come into his presence.

Worship the Lord in all his holy splendor.

³⁰ Let all the earth tremble before him.

The world stands firm and cannot be shaken.

³¹ Let the heavens be glad, and the earth rejoice!

Tell all the nations, “The Lord reigns!”

³² Let the sea and everything in it shout his praise!

Let the fields and their crops burst out with joy!

³³ Let the trees of the forest sing for joy before the Lord,

for he is coming to judge the earth.

³⁴ Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good!

His faithful love endures forever.

³⁵ Cry out, “Save us, O God of our salvation!

Gather and rescue us from among the nations,

so we can thank your holy name

and rejoice and praise you.”

³⁶ Praise the Lord, the God of Israel,

who lives from everlasting to everlasting!

And all the people shouted “Amen!” and praised the Lord.

For David this was not simply a holiday.  It was not a short season set aside to express gratitude to God.  For David this has been a long developing attitude, the product of a very real relationship with the Lord.  There had been good times and there had been bad times.  David had been delivered from the lion, the bear and even a giant.  But David had also run and hid from King Saul.  The Lord had made David victorious in battle, but had also mourned the death of his son at the hand of the Lord.  David had experience the strength of the Lord both for him and against him.  There was probably not another person on the earth more qualified to articulate God’s glorious goodness!  David did not compose simply as a musician.  David did not write as a scholar.  He sung a song as a man after God’s own heart.  The gratitude that David had accumulated over the course of his life was pouring from his heart.  The Ark is here!  The Lord is present!  And David gushed with thanksgiving and praise for the honor, the majesty, the faithful love of his everlasting God.

No, to my knowledge God has not rescued me from a lion, bear or giant.  Neither has God taken my son because of my sin.  In fact, I think I can legitimately argue, the words of David’s song mean more to me than they did to him.  God took His own Son, because of my sin!   I have experienced less of God’s discipline and more of God’s grace than King David.  God has made His salvation and His presences much more real to me than to anyone before Christ!  I have an even greater reason to celebrate, a greater reason to sing and a greater reason to be filled with joy and gratitude than King David!

So, I encourage you.  During this designated season for Thanksgiving,  as a post resurrection believer, you and I have more to dance about than David did!  So celebrate.  Be filled with joy!  Check your heart and make sure that Thanksgiving is more than a holiday or a season that comes and goes, but is an attitude that gushes from the relationship of grace and goodness we are privileged to have with the Everlasting Lord.  Go ahead.  Get a little crazy and praise the Lord!  It’s an attitude, not a season!

Good Grief

Grief is good; it expresses how deeply we love.

It was about this time of year about three years ago.  I walked through my parent’s house early in the morning.  Their bedroom light was on so I knocked on the door and they invited me in.  The looks on their faces gave away the news they’d just received from the doctor over the phone.  After ten years, my dad’s cancer was back.  Eight weeks later my dad passed away in that very bedroom.

I still don’t talk about it much.  I’m simply lost for words.  It is the most profound pain I’ve ever experienced.  I have performed my fair share of funerals for people I knew well and cared about, even for close family members on my wife’s side of the family and never felt the soul numbing void I felt after my dad passed away.  Few people attempt to articulate the grief that follows the death of a close family member.  I assume we don’t talk about it because grief is so personal, somewhat inexplicable, and a little embarrassing.

It’s personal:

When my dad passed away my family all handled it differently.  My younger brother, who had lost his wife during childbirth several years previous, handled it like a champ.  He was the strong, as-a-matter-of-fact one in the bunch.  My oldest sister appeared to be appropriately sad.  She cried and seemed to move on like a pro.  My other sister was out of the country and I think she hated being away from the family during such a tragic loss.  And my mom did her best to maintain composure and move through life day to day.  I thought about my dad every day for at least a year.  More than that, I grieved his death every day for a year.  Little reminders of him would send me running for tissues because uncontrollable, white hot tears were squirting out of my eyes.  Three years later I’m much better.  I’m only on my second box of tissues since writing this.  Kidding!

What I know from my own experience and having worked with other families, is that grief is unique to every individual.  There is not a right way or a wrong way to grieve.  Don’t feel guilty that you are very emotional or not emotional enough.  By the same token, don’t hold others to what you think grief should look like.  We don’t tell everyone, but the fact is, about two hours after my dad passed a family friend of ours offered to take us out to Mexican food for lunch.  The truth is we were all exhausted and had been cooped up in the house for weeks.  We needed out of the house.  We needed some sense of normal.  Besides, we’d had all the rotisserie chicken and meatloaf we could handle.  By the way, thank you to all those wonderful people who stopped by and brought groceries.  Some may think we were not responding appropriately.  If you know the Heddin family, you know that eating Mexican food was perfectly appropriate!

It’s Inexplicable:

I like to think I’m a pretty unflappable kind of guy.  You know . . . a man’s man.  When tragedy strikes, I’m calm.  I can remain rational.  I’m steady for my family.  I don’t get hysterical about anything.  I’m the parent who drives when the kids are bleeding and need to go to the ER.  Cool and calculated under pressure, that’s who I am.  However, losing my mind and emotions have been part of the grieving process for me.  Right after I was back home on a Sunday morning one of the young ladies was explaining to me that I needed to announce that the church Christmas banquet was that evening.  I told her we would put it in the bulletin next week.  After several attempts at explaining why that didn’t work she went to my wife.  Fortunately, Dianne understood I was having a difficult time and she patiently explained to me, as if I were a child, why I had to announce the banquet that Sunday morning.  That was not the only occasion I just could not put two and two together.  Emotionally I was even worse.  At one point hospice needed my mom to make a decision concerning my dad.  I was there to support my mom, oldest son and everything.  My mom looked at me and in an instant more emotion than I knew was ever in me was rocketing into my face!  In an attempt to stifle this outburst, I stood up and ran for the backroom making all the sounds that tears, air and snot make forcibly coming out of your eyes, nose, mouth and maybe even ears!  It was not pretty.  It was not logical.  It was grief.  That’s just how it is.

If you are grieving or know someone who is, be patient.  Attempt to be understanding.  At least act like you understand.  The fact is, it really isn’t understandable.  The fabric of relationship that intertwines our life with another life has been ripped apart.  I imagine that losing a limb has more reasonable emotional consequences than losing a loved one.  We cannot explain why something reminds us of the one we’ve lost.  We cannot explain why we can go from perfectly fine to uncontrollable tears.  So, if you see me crying, don’t worry about me.  I’m just having an unreasonable, uncontrollable, inexplicable explosion of emotion.  It’ll pass.

It’s Embarrassing:

Grief is a nasty thing partially because it reduces us to our most base emotions.  It exposes the underside of our being that we work so hard to not share with others.  Grief gives no heed to pretense.  We try to be poised.  We try to be proper.  But grief is completely ignorant to proper.  It can be inappropriately loud or silent.  It can happen at the wrong time.  Grief makes your face turn red, tears run uncontrollably and snot flow like the Nile.  And if you try to stifle it, it only gets worse!  Grief is nasty!  It’s inconsiderate of decorum.  It’s embarrassing.

This is why God gives us family, biological family and church family.  Suffering the loss of a loved one is inevitable.  Each of us need people in our lives who can handle the embarrassing moments of grief.  We need people who will hold the tissue box and pat us on the shoulder.  We need people who will cry with us.  And we need people who will listen when we are ready to talk about it.  You don’t have to understand.  Just listen.

Things to keep in mind when helping a grieving person:

1. Listen.  Now is not the time to tell your story.
2. “I’m sorry for your loss,” is sufficient. More words don’t help.
3. Your thoughtfulness is appreciated. A call, a card, a visit, a hug, a covered dish, are all welcome gestures.  It helps just to know that we are not going through this alone.
4. Don’t offer empty platitudes. “They are in a better place,” “They are looking down on you,” “They are still with you,” and my least favorite, “All things work together for the good of those that love the Lord,” do not bring clarity or comfort to the loss of a loved one. They just don’t.
5. Pull your car over! When you see a funeral procession be considerate and respectful.  One day you may be in that possession with your loved one.  You’ll appreciate others pulling over, stopping at intersections, and not cutting into the procession.

 

 

Unity vs. Tolerance

A New Commandment

“A new command I give you, tolerate one another,” said mom to the two kids in the backseat who had been arguing over who has the biggest shadow.  But that is not at all the command that Jesus left His followers.  In John 13:34 Jesus says, “So now I am giving you a new commandment:  Love each other.  Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.” (NLT)  It seems the church has gotten involved in an argument that isn’t even ours.  Jesus did not ignore or distance Himself from people because they were different from Him or because He didn’t like them.  Jesus did not just tolerate people.  He loved them.  He befriended them.  He taught them.  He pursued the forgiveness of their sins.  He loved them to the point of giving His life for them.  Figuring out how little we must put up with fellow believers is not the Christ-like standard.  Love is.

Greeting One Another

I recently preached from 1 Thessalonians 5:26 “Greet all the brothers and sisters with a sacred kiss.” (NLT)   I admit it, I am more comfortable preaching about sin and eternal damnation than preaching this kind of greeting.  We had some laughs that service.  Paul’s point is simply that we show genuine affection for one another in the Body of Christ, not out of empty platitude or obligation, but because we genuinely love and care about one another.

At Desert Heights Church, you are not likely to be greeted with a kiss!  However, you may very well be greeted with a hearty handshake, a hug, a smile, a cup of coffee and genuine concern.  I have watched, with a sense of pride, as well dressed and not so well dressed are equally welcomed.  Those who are obviously churched are welcomed with the same consideration as those who have obviously never been in a church.  Those who come for the first time are embraced with the same enthusiasm as those who have come for the last fourteen years.  Tattoos, colored hair, bushy beards, suits and ties, skirts or shorts, we will welcome you because we genuinely care about you!

Worshiping With One Another

Greeting is the easy part.  Worshipping, growing and sharing life together is where church gets messy.  There is a saying, “Everyone is normal until you get to know them.”  Invariably, people come to church and the first impression is positive.  It’s all smiles and hugs.  (No kisses!)  Then they get to know a few people.  They discover that these church people are not perfect.

Now hold on.  We need to understand WHY people are not perfect!  First, we must deal with your perception of perfection.  If you come to a church expecting that no one in this congregation ever sins and that this pastor never offends anyone, you have an unrealistic expectation.  Second, we are each at different stages of maturity and each have different church backgrounds.  In a healthy church there are going to be new believers who may mess up from time to time.  They may not know where the book of Habakkuk is.  In most churches there are a large number of people who have come from other churches.  They may have been taught differently about pre-trib, mid-trib, and post-trip rapture or the Holy Spirit.  They may have been taught differently on a variety of doctrines.  So, no, there are probably no perfect people at any church when measured by your expectations of perfection.

Which finally gets me to my point:  Whether you are a new believer or a believer who believes differently on peripheral doctrines, tolerance is not God’s standard for those who have placed their faith in Jesus Christ!  Unity is God’s standard for the Body of Christ. Here is the difference.  Tolerance is when you think you know what is right and you are impatiently coercing others to agree with you.  Unity is knowing that both you and I have sinned and are equally, desperately dependent upon God to transform us.  Unity is patiently trusting and waiting for God to grow ourselves and our fellow believers.

Paul describes unity to the church at Ephesus:

Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. ² Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. ³ Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. ⁴ For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future. ⁵ There is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, ⁶ one God and Father of all, who is over all, in all, and living through all.  Ephesians 4:1–6 (NLT)

The church, every Gospel-believing, Jesus-proclaiming church, is brought under the headship of Jesus by God.  We are unified by and in Jesus!  Division in the Body of Christ is not the Biblical standard.  Merely tolerating other churches who believe differently than we do, is not the Biblical standard.  Merely tolerating other persons in the Body of Christ who believe differently is not Biblical.  Humility and gentleness are the standard.  Patience and being considerate of other’s faults is the loving standard Jesus commanded of us.  Instead of finding doctrinal differences, we are to make every effort to be united in the Spirit and binding ourselves together with peace.  Only then do the more mature believers help the less mature believers grow.  In spite of past stereotypes, mature Christianity is not characterized by selfish, cantankerous people.  Jokes have been made about  denominations having different places to worship in Heaven, because they don’t get along.  God’s redemptive plan was to bring together people from every nation, every race and every language.  God’s glory is demonstrated in His power to bring unity to all the varieties of mankind.  Yet the church that should be united in Christ Jesus is divided over peripheral doctrine, styles of worship, philosophies of ministry and denominational distinctives.  I just don’t think God finds it humorous.

Fighting With One Another

In the greater Farmington area, there are over 100 churches that proclaim the Gospel is the power of God for salvation.  There are approximately 53,000 who have not had an effective presentation of the Gospel and do not have a home church for worship and fellowship.  What if the churches fought with one another, instead of against one another?  What if we each church supported and encouraged the other churches and believers instead of taking pop shots at one another?  What if churches, pastors, and believers all over the world stopped tolerating one another, laid down their differences and fought together, united to champion Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of the entire world!?  That is an exciting church!

²⁷ Above all, you must live as citizens of heaven, conducting yourselves in a manner worthy of the Good News about Christ. Then, whether I come and see you again or only hear about you, I will know that you are standing together with one spirit and one purpose, fighting together for the faith, which is the Good News.  Philippians 1:27 (NLT)

It is no wonder those outside the church see those inside the church as intolerant.  We barley tolerate one another.  We cannot be effective to reach the lost when we lack unity in the church.  The fighting power of the church is when we stand together in one spirit and with one purpose, the Good News of Jesus Christ!  For the citizens of Heaven tolerance is the least expectation.  Unity is the standard God has called His children to.

10 Things I Want My Kids to Know Before They Leave Home

My son started elk hunting several years ago.  That first year we spent quite a bit of time sitting and waiting, hunkered down behind trees and rocks, watching for elk to pass through a canyon or come to a watering hole within shooting distance.  It was not a successful hunt in the sense of bringing home some meat, but it was successful in the sense that we had a great experience and I had time to think.

My son was fourteen.  He was growing up faster than I had realized he would. The reality of him being in my home for only four more years, give or take, was unsettling.  While he was intent on hunting, I was distracted with this new found and startling reality.  I sat on the ground behind some rocks asking myself, “Have I equipped him to leave my home and be independent?  Have I given him a foundation to build on for the rest of his life?”  When he was born, I had big plans of being a great dad, now he’s about to leave my home and I’m not sure I have finished my job!  What happened to fourteen years?  Why didn’t I prioritize earlier? I’m not ready for this!

So, I sat there and made a list.  It’s a list every parent needs to make sooner rather than later.

1. Jesus as Lord and Savior

This is by far the most important on the list.  This is the only bit of knowledge that I can pass along to my children that has eternal value.  And, if they know Jesus as their Lord and Savior, all the other things will fall into place.  My children are growing up in an ever-changing world that is calling into question the validity of Christianity.  I want my children to know that their dad put all his faith in Jesus. They learn this by watching how I live, not so much by the words I say.

2. Both their parents love them more than the can understand

My capacity to love has grown exponentially since I had children.  Children do not inherently understand the depth of love parents feel for their children and unfortunately, fathers are sometimes not great at communicating that love.  It is a set up for failure on both sides.  It’s no one person’s fault.  We must be intentional about consistently communicating and demonstrating our love for our children.  I listen to them every chance they are willing to talk.  My family goes on my calendar first and then other activities.  Early on my wife and I stopped having “a day off”.  It became our “family day”.

3. Home is safe and open to them. 

No matter how bad my children may fail, I want them to know that they can come to their mom and me.  Don’t misunderstand, they will not be allowed to abuse the resources of home, but they can always come home.  We’ll love them. We’ll be kind to them.  We’ll give them Biblical guidance.  We’ll pray with them and for them.  And we’ll send them out to try again!

4. How to manage money

Money, or the lack of money, causes problems for many people.  It seems the possession of money has recently been deemed a moral bad.  Money is neither evil or good.  It is simply a tool.  If you manage it well, life tends to be better.  If you manage it poorly, life tends to get complicated.  Learning to be content with what you have is a large part of a right attitude toward money.  Learning to share and bless others is the icing on the cake!

5. Basic leadership

There is a growing need for people who are willing and able to get out in front, say, “This is the direction we need to go,” and “I can lead you there.”  All of us are the leader at some point in time in our lives.  The sooner my children know how to lead, the better.

6. A love to learn

No problem is insurmountable and life is always interesting when you love to learn. When children are predisposed to an attitude of “I can figure this out,” there are few things in life that they can’t figure out and do. When their attitude is, “I can’t figure this out,” they will forever be handicapped. We have spent many hours searching the internet for all kinds of things, from “How do I skin a raccoon?” to “How do I solve quadratic equations?”  The love to learn propels children toward conquering anything they desire to conquer!

7. How to be a man/woman of God

Wow!  Society is moving toward being gender neutral while God has put a premium on men being manly and women being . . . well, womanly.  God has a design for men that is different from His design for women.  I desire my son to grow up and be powerful and kind, to dream big, conquer and be considerate of others.  I want my daughter to grow up to be beautiful, smart, strong, kindhearted and compassionate towards others.  I want my children to be loving servants to their fellow man and shine a little light wherever they go.

8. How to be a lady / How to treat a lady

This is very much my dad’s influence on me.  He often told my sisters, “Act like a lady.”  And he told my brother and I, “Always treat a woman like a lady.”  Ladies respect themselves, their bodies, and others.  Ladies should be treated with respect and consideration. On a few occasions my dad would explain, “Not every woman is lady, but you still treat her like a lady.”  I want my daughter to know that she is valuable and respectable and should be treated with respect.  Likewise, I want my son to treat all women with respect and consideration no matter how little they respect themselves.

9. How to build healthy relationships

I did not grow up close to extended family, but my wife did.  We have raised our kids with aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and even great grandparents.  We have learned to enjoy new babies and old adults.  We have learned to get along with those we agree with and those we don’t.  Family is a great laboratory for relationships.  When my children leave home I want them to be equipped and have experienced building relationships with a variety of people, not just people like them.

10.  How to raise their children to honor God. 

The way I raise my children is very likely going to be the way they will raise their children.  The best way I can teach my children to raise their children to honor God is for me to honor God every chance I get.  I must do more than just talk about honoring God.  I must make sure that my children see me honor God in my relationship with them, my relationship with my wife, and my relationship with God.

 

In retrospect, had I made this list when my son was born, I am not so sure this is the list I would have made.  It took an unsuccessful elk hunt for me to realize that the priority is not the hunt, but the people you go with, the time you spend together and the values that you pass along.

These are the runner’s up that didn’t make the top 10.  I hope you’ll make your own list!

• How they can honor their parents later in life.
• To be givers more than takers
• To succeed as God’s child is the most important success.
• Always try your best.
• Be aware what you are good and bad at.